Come with me my love,
Into the sea, the sea of love,
I want to tell you,
How much I love you.
~Sea of Love - Cat Power

So....4 AP classes(including AP Studio Art)= no social life and no extra art time. I still don't really know what I want my concentration to be...most of my older pieces that I will be using are the cutesy family ones...so maybe something related to family. I dunno. too broad. I hardly come to this site anymore and it makes me kind of sad, but life goes on. I can't wait for college though!!! and that pretty much sums up what I have to say at this time.

Peace and Love,
Suki

So my last journal was wangsty and mostly anger-management-needy...yeah....
but now I'm not such a despicable human being. I'm pretty much grooving to old 90's music, drinking my sleepy-time tea and getting ready to finish some history reading on WWI before school tomorrow. I have recently been freed from my attachment to someone and I may now look at other guys without feeling unfaithful. (lol) I plan on continuing to stalk the hottie at the library under good conscience now. XD The fourth quarter begins next monday and i'm pretty shocked that my junior year has gone by so quickly. These past two years have been a blur of stress, homework, and AP history! I did little to no hw this weekend and enjoyed myself thoroughly whilst shirking my responsibilities and taking long, spontaneous walks in my land, which really belongs to various neighbors and land speculators that hopefully don't know how often i trespass on their territory. It's funny, for years as a kid I envied my older siblings who were allowed to walk down the road by themselves or with eachother. Sometimes I was taken along but I dreamed of the day when I could walk out on the street alone. We live out in the boondocks, a good 15-20 miles from any small town and the country here is beautiful in a horse-farming kind of domesticated, tame landscape. Nothing wild and fierce that would have brought Whitman unspeakable joy, but still serene and inspiring when you've been locked up all week with nothing but Alan Brinkley's "American History: A Survey" to keep you company. Walking outside, in the woods, down the road, up the road, through the rolling hills and secret trails is my therapy, my consolation, my anger management, the world is my stress-ball. I own the land now, it doesn't matter if I'm two, three miles from the measly two acres that my parents own, wherever I roam is my land. By treading on sacred ground and taking in the earth through all my senses, I come to possess the land. man, Steinbeck is getting to me...speaking of a school assignment, I know I can do better in my classes and that I could have made a passing grade on my history multiple-choice test, but for once I am following my teacher's advice and I just said, to heck with it. I have to live. I need to connect with the earth. As a kid I was outside almost constantly. me and my mudholes were in separable. I walked everywhere barefoot and even during the summer up until i was about 14 I would still run around like a savage. once I started going to school my head became filled with numbers, books, studying and making good grades. I still make good grades and intend to continue, and probably couldn't stop striving for excellence even if I tried to..but recently I've had an epiphany. I need dirt. I need to feel the soil between my toes and under my fingernails, annoying the hell outta me. I need to plant something, grow something, sit in the freezing cold creek, catch crayfish with a broken net and pick wildflowers for my mother, make strings and necklaces and rings out of buttercups and clover flowers. I need to feast on wild mint leaves, baby briar thorns, sourgrass and honeysuckle. Without these simple things...no, sacred rituals of halcyon days when I was truly alive and part of the earth, I am depressed and mechanical. I've become hardened somehow. I have my moments of sweetness, but they are usually few and far between and occur when I need to impress adults or be kind to the elderly and parents etc...and I no longer feel genuinely natural. I'm emotional, but I let resentment build up and harden on my like resin, a thick gloss, all for show but it is so thick now that I can no longer breathe. Ventilation is limited. With each blow comes a sting that becomes muted and delayed but it reverberates and stays with me for extended periods of time. Then the bitterness and the dwelling and reflection comes and my wood begins to secrete another layer to my shell. It's like I molt repeatedly but never fully shed my skin, it just builds up indefinitely. I grow and develop new sides of me I never knew before but I cling to the old me for old times sake and because being my older self is useful when I see old friends.

That's enough nostalgia induced treading down memory lane...Don't expect to hear from me soon. I've tried uploading my two year old drawings that I've been recently reunited with but DA refuses to load them sooooooooo that's all for now.

Love and Peace,
Suki

and raise the cross,
The martyr's arrived,
A desperate plea for sympathy,
It's all you'll need,

A laundry list of problems,
Doesn't make you interesting,
And never getting help doesn't make you brave,
Not listening to reason doesn't mean that you have faith,
Your just cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I wish you never told me,
I wish I never knew,
but no more, no more, no more.
no more sympathy for the martry.
I can hear you growling again,
"That's it we're through."

Stop acting like I should care,
it makes no difference to me,
whether you are there or not,
you've made yourself invisible,

you say we can't just be friends,
that's not good enough for you,
it's either all or nothing,
I don't like your extremes,
so i choose something in between,
something real and tangible, useful, practical,
you're welcome to join me.

tagged me, so yeah.

Rules=-
○ Choose a singer/band/group.
○ Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group.
○ Tag 5 more people (let them know they've been tagged).

Sufjan Stevens <3


Are you male or female?
- John Wayne Gacy, Jr.

Describe yourself!
- Prairie Fire that wanders about

What do people feel when they're around you?
- The Predatory Wasp of the Pallisades is out to get us!

Describe your current relationship.
- In this temple as in the heart of man, for whom he saved the earth.

Where would you like to be now?
- The Seers Tower

How do you feel about love?
- A conjunction of drones

What's your life like?
- One last whoo-hoo! for the pullman

What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
- The Tallest Man, the Broadest Shoulders

Say something wise.
- Come on! Feel the Illinoise!

I tag...

...through this year,
if it kills me.
There will be feasting
and dancing in Jerusalem this year.
- The Mountain Goats

I have so much to do for just four classes. It's not right. Oh well, I'll do it and learn to like it or die trying. XD




100 THEME CHALLENGE + 10 FREE SKETCHES UPDATE!
I have not forgotten your requests , , , and the others on this list. I have gotten quite a few finished but they are up in the North waiting to be scanned or sent back here. I am still open to requests, especially now that school is out so feel free.




THE LIST:
1. Introduction
2. Love - (Reserved for main piece)
3. Light - (Done, but not really fitting for )
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace - [link]
6. Break Away - [link]
7. Heaven - [link]
8. Innocence - (Reserved for Tonjj)
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again - [link]
11. Memory - [link]
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude - [link]
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature - (Reserved for Jacob's request)
23. Cat - (Reserved for a friend)
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign - [link]
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers - [link]
32. Night
33. Expectations - [link]
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure - [link]
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned - (Reserved for Ceresis)
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still - (Done! )
43. Dying
44. Two Roads - [link]
45. Illusion - [link]
46. Family - [link]
47. Creation - [link]
48. Childhood - [link]
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules - [link]
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought - [link]
53. Keeping a Secret - [link]
54. Tower
55. Waiting ~ [link]
56. Danger Ahead - (Done! )
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale - (Done! For Ceresis. To be scanned.)
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror - [link]
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody - [link]
68. Hero - [link]
69. Annoyance - [link]
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed - [link]
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have - [link]
93. Give Up - [link]
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm (maybe reserved for Ceresis?...partly open to anyone.)
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle - [link]
99. Solitude - [link]
100. Relaxation - (Done! to be scanned...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10 Free Drawings!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Charity Dilley and Chazz Princeton - Jadenlover95 [Fanart-Central] (done!)
2. Light Yagami - (done! now i just have to wait for it to be scanned )
3. Mafdet and a kitten - (done! )
4. Character Ref Sheet - [link]
5. Francis and Leona - (done! )
6. Krad/Abel/Clef/Atemu - (still deciding who I'm gonna draw )
7. a tree - my brother Jacob
8.
9.
10.